When we experience the heartache of a loved one leaving, it can be truly devastating. It’s a unique kind of suffering; there’s no shame in feeling grief-stricken and confused in the wake of such a loss. This article will explore the multifaceted healing process of when someone leaves you, from grief to understanding and ultimately growth.
1. Goodbye: The Pain of Watching Someone Leave
Saying goodbye is never easy. Whether you are the one leaving or the one that is being left, there is an inherent pain associated with partings. Amid all the emotions, it is difficult to regulate and to move on. It is hard to not look back on what could have been or what has been lost.
The Guilt of Leaving
When you are the one leaving, it can be difficult to come to terms with the guilt of leaving another person behind. Even if you have thought long and hard about this decision and the circumstances have forced you into it, the guilt and feeling of abandonment can linger. As you go through the motions of closure that come with leaving, guilt can be an ever-present feeling because of all that you will miss out on with them.
The Sadness of Being Left
On the other hand, when the other person is the one leaving, the feelings of sadness can be overwhelming. This separation might be due to external circumstances, like a job relocation, or it could be due to internal conflicts and disagreements that you did not see coming. Regardless, the sense of loss can be crushing.
- The pain of watching someone you have built a relationship or a bond with go away
- The feeling of emptiness that follows when you realise the finality of the goodbye
- The nightmares that you have when they leave and even when you wake up
The best way to move on is to remember the good times you shared. No matter what has happened, if you can remember the joy and peace that was felt when you were together, you can use that as a source of strength and closure. In time, the pain of goodbye will ease and you will be able to look back on the memories fondly.
2. Moving On After Heartbreak
Sometimes when we experience heartbreak, it can feel like our world and hearts have been shattered, and we may think that it will never be possible to mend them. But believe it or not – you will bend, and your heart will eventually mend. There is no single cure for a broken heart and how long it takes each of us to move on will vary. Here is a brief guide to help you heal:
- Acknowledge the pain. Acknowledge the pain you feel. It’s okay to be upset. Take the time to grieve for the loss and the relationship you once had. Vent to a trusted friend, write in a journal or create art to express those feelings.
- Create new experiences and enjoy yourself. Going out with friends, engaging in new hobbies and doing something creative can help you find joy and peace. While it’s good to spend time alone to meditate and grieve, it’s also important to get out and enjoy life and create the kind of memories that will get you excited and reinforce your self worth.
- Take care of yourself. Eating right and exercising can help restore your physical and mental health. Exercise benefits your body, mind and spirit, and can be a great way to reduce stress and anxiety.
Above all, have faith in yourself. When you have been through an emotionally difficult time, it simple takes patience and strength to bring yourself back to feeling in control. You are more valuable than the person who hurt you and things will get better in time.
3. How to Cope When You Feel Lost and Alone
Feeling lost and alone can be a difficult experience, no matter your age or where you are in life. Here are a few tips for how to cope when you start to feel that loneliness taking over.
Accept Gradual Process
Remember that this feeling of being lost and alone is not going to go away overnight. It is likely going to be a long and tiring process, much like finally reaching the top of a mountain. All you can do is take it one step at a time. Accept that the process will take time, and that certain days will be more difficult than others. Don’t try to do too much all at once, because all of it does matter.
Find Ways to Connect
When feeling lost and alone, it is important to stay connected with other people. You can do this through in-person social interactions, connecting with people online, or joining a support group. Find something that energizes you and makes you excited to start each day. This will greatly help you overcome your sadness and loneliness.
Be Nice to Yourself
Often times, when feeling lost and alone, we may be hard on ourselves and project an outward feeling of hatred and anger. However, it is important to be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. Do things that make you feel happy and relaxed, such as:
- Spending time in nature
- Getting regular exercise
- The creative hobby of your choice
- Reading a book
Doing these things can help you feel more grounded and connected to the world around you.
4. Finding Strength in Letting Go
Humans are by nature control-seekers. We want to be able to exert influence over developing circumstances. To make sure that what happens is to our liking. This makes it hard to understand the concept of ‘letting go’, which is essentially the relinquishing of power to circumstances outside our control. Learning to find strength in letting go is, however, a lesson we must embrace, as its rewards are immense.
Letting go begins with understanding. When you encounter a situation that would usually require your direct involvement, take some time to look at the bigger picture. Learn about all the different factors that come in to effect. Allow yourself to accept that there are other players in the equation who stand to lose, gain or remain unaffected by your decisions.
From this point, it is important to recognise the part that you can and should play. Sometimes our attachment to something stems solely from our belief that our presence is integral to a certain outcome. Yet when we take a step back, we realise that much of the outcome rests on the shoulders of other providers. Learn to accept when and how you can contribute, and likewise recognise when and how you must step back.
requires us to cultivate trust. When we let go, we are doing so with the belief that the outcome is already determined. We relinquish our grip to make way for something more beneficial for all parties involved. We trust that we do not need to push or pull for a certain and certain outcome shall follow.
5. Use This Time to Rediscover Yourself
Unlock Your Creativity
Take some time to try out activities that bring out your creative side. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan of photography, painting, sculpting or any other kind of artistic expression. Rediscovering your creative self can be an exciting journey, as you’ll find surprises and revelations about yourself that you didn’t know existed. Here are a few activities to try:
- Creating collages with pictures and special mementos.
- Writing stories and poems.
- Making your own jewelry.
- Exploring different forms of dance.
- Learning a new instrument.
Pick an activity that piques your interest and just go for it. Don’t feel obligated to perform it perfectly – this is just an exercise in self-exploration. Just keep going and you’ll be surprised by the results!
Learn Something New
Learning something new is a great way to challenge yourself and spark something new inside of you. It doesn’t have to be in an academic context, either – you can learn all sorts of skills and acquire knowledge that can be useful both in leisure and professional interests. Here’s a few ideas:
- Learning a new language.
- Creating website pages.
- Taking online courses related to a hobby.
- Studying philosophy and gaining a deep understanding of the world.
Go out and find the resources to complete these activities. Visit your local library, find tutorials online, or even ask an expert in the field for advice. The opportunities are endless!
6. Learning to Reconnect with Looking Inward
Are you struggling to get in touch with your inner self? You are not alone. Too often, we get so caught up in our busy day to day lives that we end up missing out on key moments of self-reflection and introspection. To reconnect with looking inward we need to re-frame our perspective.
Start with your breath. Spending time focusing on your breath is a mindful practice can help to calm the mind and give insight into the present moment. Take 5 minutes each day to sit in peaceful reflection and practice a simple breathing exercise. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds. Practising this exercise can help you become more mindful.
Taking a moment for meditation in your day can also be extremely helpful. Taking time to sit and reflect in stillness can help you stay in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings, and bring more clarity to your life. There are lots of guided meditations online to help you get started.
Finally, try to make connections. Find ways to connect with the world around you on a deeper level and observe how you are impacted by it. This could be through spending time outdoors, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with a good friend. Whatever it may be, thinking about and understanding your connections to the world can help bring clarity.
- Start with your breath
- Take up meditation
- Make connections
7. Renewing Your Sense of Self-Worth
At times, our self-worth can take a beating. We might encounter struggles in achieving our goals, face hardships in relationships, or feel we aren’t living up to our full potential. Through the power and energy of our mind we can begin to rebuild and renew our sense of self-worth. Here are some tips to help you do just that:
- Let go of past mistakes and failures. Your present worth is not defined by what you have done before. Remind yourself of your successes, no matter how small, such has learning a new skill or passing an exam.
- Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself in the same way you would encourage a friend going through similar struggles. Self-criticism and negative self-talk will not help you move forward. Practice self-care and focus on your positive qualities.
- Start focusing on your dreams and goals. Ask yourself what it is you want to do, have, and become and believe that you can achieve them. Shift your thoughts to where you want to be and not on what’s holding you back. Define your purpose and use it to motivate yourself.
- Finally, focus on what you love and what brings you joy. Remind yourself that your worth is not tied to material objects or from what others think of you. Really focus on what makes you happy and pursue it. Just like everyone else, you are worthy and capable of greatness.
is empowering and beneficial in so many ways. Not only can it help you on a personal level, but it can propel you to success in many aspects of your life. Keep an open mind and find the courage and determination within you to begin the journey of renewing your self-worth.
We all experience loss in love at some point in life – but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find happiness in the future. When someone leaves you, take some time for yourself, be kind to yourself, and recognize that you have the strength to move forward and find hope again. No matter what, love will always find a way.