Why Won’t You Adopt Me Because Your Black

There is an uncomfortable subject that lurks beneath the surface of many potential adoptions and foster cases across the United States. In spite of all the progress made toward a more diverse and equal society, the issue of race may still be used as a factor in whether or not a person is adopted – a practice that is both morally wrong and illegal. In this article, we will explore why a potential adoptive family’s race might be a factor in some cases, and why this racism must be recognized and addressed.
why won't you adopt me because your black

1. The Impact of Racism in Adoption

Racism is still alive and prevailing in many parts of the world, especially in the arena of adoption. Despite numerous efforts from adoptive parents, child advocacy groups and governments, racism has remained a significant barrier when it comes to finding homes for children.

In most countries, family or race matching remains a major criterion when evaluating prospective adoptive parents. This practice has led to a deepening racial divide between adoptive parents and their adopted children, making it difficult for adoptive children to feel accepted and integrated into their adoptive family and society.

Examples of

  • Due to racial profiling in adoption agencies, children from marginalized communities often face a greater chance of being put on the waiting list for longer periods.
  • Many parents feel uncomfortable adopting a child from a different ethnic background, as they do not feel a connection between themselves and the child. This is often an obstacle when trying to find a family for an adopted child.
  • Discrimination experienced by children in the adoption system can lead to psychological and emotional issues as they grow and mature. This may manifest in social issues, poor judgment and low self-esteem.

Organizations like the World Adoption Association (WAA) are working to educate and raise awareness about racism in adoption and those who are affected by it in order to ensure children receive fair evaluations and a more equal chance of being adopted.

2. Uncovering the Root of the Problem

In order to effectively fix an issue, it’s essential to pinpoint the root cause. It’s often easy to come to a conclusion without further investigation – however, it’s very rare that this is the correct solution.

Locating the source of the problem can be tricky, but the following steps can help you uncover the true root of the issue:

  • Ask questions – to yourself and to those involved in the situation. Ask why, where, what, how, and when to best understand the issue.
  • Do research – explore any potential causes by researching the background and any other influencing factors.
  • Assess the evidence – use what you found in your research to determine what seems to be the most likely cause.
  • Stay open-minded – remember that the issue may not be what it originally seemed. Consider different points of view and be willing to review the facts.

Although it is essential to uncover the underlying causes to ensure you’re tackling the right issue, take the time for thoughtful analysis to better find the root of the problem. Developing a sharp eye and understanding of the circumstances can help you to effectively diagnose the issue.

3. The Consequences of Colorism in Adoption


The physical consequences of colorism in adoption can be noticeable or subtle, depending on the severity of bias and discrimination. Psychological effects are also a physical consequence of living with a stigma. When children experience negative behavior towards them due to their skin color, or discover they have been rejected from a potential adoptive situation based on those criteria, it has a tangible and long-term effect.

Minor physical symptoms of trauma are a direct result of psychological strain as well. Headaches, upset stomach, muscle aches, and general fatigue can be attributed to the stress of living in an environment where colorism exists.


It is important to look closely at the social effects of colorism in adoption. Perpetuating colorism in any situation can lead to prejudice, exclusion, and segregation. If certain features are placed on a higher pedestal and thought of as desirable, it creates a negative environment and can lead to dangerous stereotypes.

When potential parents are deciding which children to take into their homes, the decision to limit the criteria to certain skin colors can have far-reaching consequences. By only placing value on certain characteristics, the opportunities for adoptees can become severely limited.

Mental Health

The psychological effects colorism in adoption can leave long-lasting and profound impacts on mental health. Self-image and self-esteem can be damaged significantly when children feel their skin color makes them unworthy of adoption. In turn, this can lead to low self-confidence and emotional distress, and can have difficulties forming and maintaining relationships in the future.

Depression and anxiety can also have a stronghold when someone is beleaguered with negative judgements in their life. How children cope in their adoptive homes with the issues of colorism is key to avoiding long-term mental health issues.


Education is a vitally important long-term factor for adopted children. Without guidance and aid to help them develop academically, it is likely that their access to successful careers and higher education will be limited. Colorism can have an incredibly damaging effect on educational access and outcomes.

When children know they have been discriminated against due to their skin color, it can have a direct influence on how engaged they are in their studies. A lack of motivation can affect overall grades, and lead to adverse educational outcomes for the children.

4. Emotional Resilience in the Face of Rejection

No one likes to be rejected, whether it’s for a job application, for a date, or your latest venture. Rejection can lead to feelings of disappointment, sadness, confusion and even anger. But it’s important to remember that rejection is an inevitable part of life. The key to dealing with it is to develop emotional resilience.

Here are four tips to help you do just that:

  • Accept and Reflect – Accept that rejection happens, and sometimes it’s out of your control. Spend some time internalizing the rejection, but be careful not to dwell on it for too long.
  • Extend Yourself Grace – Remember, this is a learning experience. We are all still growing, and even when we experience rejection it is an opportunity to evolve in some way. Be gentle with yourself.
  • Learn from It -Use the rejection as an opportunity to reflect on what happened, and to potentially learn from it. It provides feedback for your next attempt at success.
  • Stay Positive – Focus on the positives of the situaton. Consider the areas which you did succeed in. It will bring you back to the path to reach the goal you aim for.

No one likes rejection, but with emotional resilience, it is certainly something you can cope with. By accepting, reflecting, extending yourself grace, learning from it and staying positive, you are well on your way to handling rejection with grace and versatility.

5. Finding Support and Advocacy for Diversity in Adoption

Once you have decided to pursue adoption, seeking out support and advocacy for diversity in the world of adoption is a must. After all, every prospective adoptive parent wants to ensure that their child comes from a healthy and supportive environment that respects their unique cultural identity.

Nowadays there are plenty of ways to get the necessary support and advice on this matter,

  • Search online – Make sure to do your own research online. There are lots of great online forums, social media and websites with adoption information that can help you explore diversity in adoption.
  • Get support locally – Check out what local agencies and organizations are available in your area, that specialize in adoption support and advocacy of diversity in adoption.
  • Consult your healthcare provider – Don’t hesitate to ask your healthcare provider for referrals to agencies or organizations that they trust.
  • Talk to other adoptive parents – One of the greatest learning opportunities as a prospective adoptive parent is to talk to others who have already gone through the process. Hearing personal experiences and advice can be very helpful.

Don’t forget that there are also several national organizations that provide support and advocacy for diversity in adoption. It’s a good idea to take advantage of these resources and get informed about how you can create a positive and cohesive environment during your adoption journey.

Finally, it’s essential to remember that you are not alone. Seeking out resources, support and advice early on will prepare you and give you the confidence you need to nurture a safe environment for your soon-to-be-adopted child.

6. The Rights of Adoptees Despite Color

Genuine Equality

No matter what color one is, they should have the same rights as every other adoptee – this is the fundamental belief driving society’s stance on adoption for all races. Adoptees of all colors should be given the same opportunities for fairness, success, and security when it comes to their adoption rights. Unfortunately, however, these ideals are not always upheld – even in 2021.

The Reality of Discriminatory Practices

Adoption can mean a fresh start, but for people of color, the meaning often has a sinister undertone. Research suggests that minority adoptees are more likely to be funneled towards or stuck with adoptions that are lower-quality, with fewer resources or support services available. This issue is further compounded by a history of discrimination often carried out in otherwise well-meaning systems – such as being held up to overly stringent standards or facing unfair delays and bureaucratic tangles.

A Chance for Change

The good news is that changemakers are working hard to raise awareness of these issues and how they impact adoptees of color. Minority adoptees and their families can benefit from becoming knowledgeable and active advocates for their rights. There are also more and more adoption agencies who are working to provide services and resources that are mindful of and welcoming to adoptees of color, to break outdated, discriminatory practices.

The Benefits of Supportive and Equal Adoption

Adoptees of all colors should be supported in their journey to find permanency and stability in a loving home. Equal access and treatment for all adoptive children mean that they can receive the best possible care and attention – and form meaningful and strong relationships with adoptive parents and families. With proper care, support, and resources, all adoptees – regardless of race – can pursue a happy and meaningful life.

7. Hope for a Better Future Free From Racism in Adoption

Adoption is an important part of many families’ lives, but unfortunately, racism is still deeply embedded into the process. This issue leads to many parents and potential adoptive families feeling like they can be discriminated against when pursuing adoption. This needs to change, and ultimately, a future without racism in adoption should be a priority.

The Need for Education: People of all races should be educated on the importance of diversity and inclusion within the adoption process. When parents are better informed, they can become informed advocates on the grounds of race and any other biases.

Acceptance and Understanding: Everyone should embrace each other’s differences and nurture a level of understanding, which will create a more welcoming environment for adopted children. Consequently, this kind of understanding should be extended to adoptive families as well.

Positive Change:

  • Adoption agencies should strive towards creating initiatives that foster inclusivity and cultural aspects for all adoptive parents.
  • The government should also play an important role in monitoring procedures to ensure that there is no discrimination based on race.
  • Organizations that help promote racial diversity should be aware of the culture and have processes in place to counteract any kind of racial prejudice.
  • Adoptee support groups should be created to provide information and resources for adoptive parents and children.

There can no longer be room for racism in adoption, and working together, with our collective effort, we can create a brighter future.

Though many remain unaware of it, race and background can often be a barrier to adoption. By sharing with others the individual and family journeys of those affected, we can hope to increase understanding and promote a more inclusive adoptive approach. By increasing awareness, we can ultimately work towards a society in which people of all races and backgrounds can look to get the help and support they need to find a loving home.

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